On Copywriting

Writing Headlines with Glyphius

So last week I began reading The Internet Business Book, Volume 1 by James Brausch. I'm currently on page 172. But I want to tell you about page 4, which happens to discuss headlines.

Basically, James did a study on headlines to determine how long a headline should be. Here is what he says:

The results were surprising. The average sales page has a headline of only 10 words comprising 55 characters. The profitable sales pages had an average of 14 words and 82 characters in their headlines.

He explains a few more details of his study and then concludes:

That is my new recommendation. I intend to only use headlines that are at least 80 characters long and no longer than 131 characters and I advise the same to my clients.

This was a revelation to me.

You see, I had been typing in headlines much longer than 131 characters. Why? Because it seemed that I could get a higher score in Glyphius by adding more words.

Well, that is not exactly a good idea. Because the results of James's study show that the majority of profitable headlines are no longer than 131 characters.

One version of Glyphius has a headline filter that automatically applies these character limits. If you are writing a headline, make sure you use the headline filter.

If you have a version that doesn't have the headline filter, just make sure your headlines stay within the character limits supported by the study.

My Social Security # Is 457-55-5462

[Editor's Note: I do not endorse LifeLock or recommend their service. The lesson below is about the power of proof in copy. The idea came from a LifeLock ad. But my most recent article is critical of the company. Find out why by reading Is LifeLock Selling a Lie?]

It is rare for an ad to really grab me. It comes from over-exposure to advertising I suppose. Anyway, the reason this particular ad got my attention was because the headline said this:

My Social Security # Is 457-55-5462

Naturally, I kept reading...

I'm Todd Davis, CEO of LifeLock, and this really is my social security number. I give it just to prove how safe your identity can be with LifeLock. All of us, no matter how careful, can become victims of identity theft. In fact, every three seconds another identity is stolen.

The ad continues for a few more paragraphs. But you hardly need to read them. That's because in the space of a headline and one paragraph, I'm basically sold. I'm guessing most other readers who would like to protect against identity theft are already sold, too.

This is the power of proof.

In the case of this product, what greater proof could Todd Davis have offered than to publish his SSN on the top of a publicly distributed advertisement? I can't think of anything.

I scanned the ad in so you can see for yourself what it says.

==> Click here to view the LifeLock ad.

How can you use proof like this to strengthen your advertisements and sales letters?

Clever Headlines Rarely Work

Clever headlines rarely work because they're usually confusing. A confused prospect is a prospect who won't buy.

Case in point: I was shocked and dismayed to see what one window company wrote atop a recent direct response flier.

Side one said:

Eliminate Window Shopping With The "Eliminator Window" Series...

Side two said:

Eliminator windows brighten your outlook...

If you were selling windows through a direct mail flier, what would your headline say? Hopefully, nothing remotely close to the drivel above.

Do people buy windows so they can stop "window shopping?" No!

Do people buy windows to "brighten their outlook?" No again!

Besides the obvious confusion these headlines cause, they fail to address the conversation that's already happening in the prospect's mind.

My best guess (without doing any research) is that homeowners shopping for new windows do so for one of two reasons:

1. Their current windows have broken seals, allowing moisture to gather between the panes.

2. Their current windows aren't energy efficient, resulting in higher heating and cooling costs.

Based on these assumptions, a much better, more direct headline would say:

Amazing Low-E Windows & Insulated Glass Frames Reduce Air Infiltration, Slashing Heating & Cooling Bills By 20%... Guaranteed! (What's More, Each Window Comes With a 14-Year Warranty
Against Defects or Broken Seals!)

Much clearer, don't you think?

The next time you think about writing a clever headline, consider the sage advice of David Garfinkel:

Most of the time, the urge to be clever is a short-cut to avoid doing the work of creating an enticing promise that will prepare the reader to take the action you are looking for. Resist the temptation; a straightforward headline almost always works better than a clever one.

Nothing Says Mother's Day Like...

I just got a special offer from Bennigan's via email. Here's the headline:

Nothing Says "Mother's Day" Like
A FREE BURGER.

Immediately I wondered, are they serious? A burger for mom on Mother's Day?

Upon some reflection, perhaps the copywriters at Bennigan's aren't as naïve as I think they are.

After all, men buy appliances for wives on anniversaries... why not burgers on Mother's Day?

I can hear it now: "Honey, you're such a wonderful mother to our childern. So wonderful, in fact, that I'm willing to spend up to $1.25 in gas money to get you a free burger at Bennigan's."

The moms will love it.

Amazing Brochure Headline Advertises Pseudo-Insurance Company

I just got this brochure in the mail... and the headline really jumped out at me. Read it and see what you think:

"More Than 50,000 Christians
Want to Pay Your Medical Bills"

Whoa! That got my attention, especially since I've had difficulty jumping through hoops to get health insurance. (The rules are little different when you're self-employed.)

If you're interested, the company is Medi-Share.org.

Still Beating It... A Year Later

I was doing research today and stopped by The National Enquirer web site. In particular, I was trying to get a feel for their writing style.

Then, off to the left side, I saw an ad to subscribe to the magazine. Believe it or not, the issue that was pictured was the same exact issue I wrote about over a year ago!

The headline was "How He Beat It." I thought it was so good, I wrote about it here in this blog. Anyway, I was shocked to see the marketing folks still using this magazine cover to get new subscriptions. I used SnagIt to grab an image of it so you could take a look.

• Click here to see the "How He Beat It" cover of The National Enquirer
• Click here to see my original post from June 29, 2005

Fortin On Headlines

Have you ever wondered what makes for a great headline? Or have you ever wondered when you should use a long headline vs. when to use a short one?

Yesterday, Michel Fortin wrote an in-depth and enlightening article on this very subject.

Normally, I do not read lengthy posts. They must be exceptional to hold my attention. And yet Fortin's article held my attention all the way through.

If you are a copywriter, or if you write copy for yourself, you must read this. The title of Fortin's post is The Truth About Mega-Headlines.

My Headline Blunder

I recently wrote an ad for a weight management product. It challenged me because I had no prior experience writing for this market. My client has, until now, written all his own sales copy. And because of his experience with the market, he's quite particular about the words and structure of his sales letters.

So here I am. I wrote what I thought was a fantastic letter. I was writing with his style. I was applying what I learned at the Persuasion in Print seminar down in Las Vegas. And I was using what John Carlton calls "power words."

And I came up with a "killer headline." Want to know what I wrote?

"New Weight Loss Breakthrough
Slaughters Unhealthy Cravings and
Forces You to Shed Weight Wickedly Fast"

I committed two big blunders here.

1. Do not use a word like "slaughters" when you're selling a food product. The image of blood mixed with food... not good.

2. Do not use "wickedly" in a market dominated by middle-aged women. They'll be confused by the slang use of this word. (It might be appropriate for young twenties men who are into skateboarding and snowboarding.)

Hopefully, my blunder is for your edification. If you ever write for the weight management or reducing market, keep these little lessons in mind so you don't embarrass yourself like I did.

How He Beat It

I've often heard that the highest paid copywriters in the world work for The National Enquirer.

I guess it's not so surprising when you know that The National Enquirer is one of the top 5 magazines in single-copy sales... and that it sells millions of copies right off the shelves every single year.

Since I'm a student and practitioner of copywriting, I like to scan headlines to see what works and what doesn't.

This weekend, while I was at Wal-Mart picking up diapers for the kids, I happened to see a headline I thought was brilliant...

On the cover of The National Enquirer was a photo of newly acquitted Michael Jackson. The headline:

How He Beat It!

This headline is masterful. It's a quadruple entendré. Can you spot the four meanings?

1. How Jackson beat the court system.
2. How Jackson engaged in self-sex.
3. How Jackson "beat it" (got out of there as fast as he could).
4. How Jackson sang the song "Beat It."

This headline probably wouldn't do very well in a direct response sales letter, but it certainly works well on the cover of The National Enquirer.