On Copywriting

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I created a new site yesterday morning on a whim. Basically, I was thinking about John Manley's "Most Important Email of the Year" and how a couple of Canadians had responded in support of Ron Paul.

That's when it hit me that there was a great hook there just waiting to be written. Here is the site I built...

==> http://www.CanadaVotesRonPaul.com/

I've now submitted it to Digg to help publicize it and get other Canadians to sound off.

If you have a Digg.com account, would you please Digg this?

==> "Even Canadians Are Voting for Ron Paul"

If you like it, forward it to your friends and family. If you have a blog, please share it with your readers. And, of course, feel free to Stumble this, bookmark it in Del.icio.us, or whatever else you can think of.

P.S. There is a lesson in writing PR headlines here. Can you spot it?

P.P.S. Tea Party O7 is this Sunday! Don't miss it.

How Retail Stores Can Increase Sales

Here's a simple marketing tactic for retail stores: capture email addresses.

Funny thing. If I were to guess, I'd say fewer than 10% of retail stores do this. Maybe fewer than 5%. I don't know.

But yet this one tactic could be responsible for a retail store getting many more repeat sales.

Why?

Because by capturing email addresses, they will be able to promote to their best customers and prospects on a regular basis. Send them promotions. Send them coupons. Send them announcements. Whatever.

Some of the stores that are already doing this well include Borders, Barnes & Noble, Qdoba, and Einstein Bros.

So how do these stores persuade their patrons to turn over their email addresses?

Great question.

Some of the more sophisticated companies have created loyalty programs. So you get in-store credit at the end of the year (Borders) or a free burrito every time you buy 10 (Qdoba).

But it doesn't necessarily have to be this complicated. Take Einstein Bros. for instance. They're a bagel company that has done well in the Denver area. Here's the real-life copy taken straight off a small sign posted over a ballot box near the cash register:

"Give us your email and we'll give you a free cup o' joe. How's that for Fair Trade?"

There's a small stack of buck slips to write your name, email, cell phone, and birth date. Fill it out, show it to the cashier (to get your free coffee), then drop it in the box.

I probably don't have to tell you... the ballot box, which was made of clear plexi-glass, was filled with dozens of slips.

If you run a retail business, what can you do to start capturing email addresses?

P.S. A note about Einstein's copy. This is one particular case where I feel like clever copy works. Even if you don't know anything about Fair Trade coffee beans, you will still understand the message. But this is the exception to the rule. Usually, efforts to be clever only confuse the customer.

Comcastuck!

Positioning is a wonderful thing.

I remember working at Sonlight when we had a drawn-out discussion on how we should position the company. The owner had for years been defending himself against smaller competitors. But his reading had persuaded him to a new point of view: to go on the offensive and attack the market leader.

With this new perspective, I suggested an aggressive positioning statement: "Forget Boring Textbooks." Although it was much loved, it was never used. Everyone thought it was too aggressive, even though we were not targeting a single competitor, merely a segment of the market.

So imagine my shock and delight when I came across a Qwest ad in the Rocky Mountain News that said: "Don't get Comcastuck." The ad went on to describe three different ways you could get stuck by switching to Comcast. (Qwest has been hemmorhaging customers to Comcast for the last year or two.)

This is not the only "attack the market leader" ad I've seen in my paper. The Burt family of car dealerships has recently taken up the cause against the various "GO" dealerships, which are owned by AutoNation. Their headline: "Pass GO. Stop at Burt."

I assume Burt's ads have been successful. At least two others have copied him with similar attack ads targeting the GO chain of dealerships.

Here's the thing. Consumers are overwhelmed with marketing messages. You have to break through the clutter. And an aggressive, controversial ad that targets the market leader does just that.

Will some people be offended? Sure. Is it a cost worth paying to polarize the market and attract new customers? I'll let you be the judge of that.

Email Subject Lines That Work

Over the last 10 months, I've gotten to see firsthand how well certain email subject lines perform.

That's because I've been sending out about 1-3 emails per week during that time. I track open rates. I track click-thru rates. It's easy for me to see when a subject line is a winner... or a loser.

With that in mind, I would like to share with you a snapshot of some subject lines that have worked and some that have not worked.

I've taken a screen capture of my email system. You'll see the subject line, followed by the number of opens, then the number of clicks. The number of clicks may be off because I've occasionally made mistakes using that feature.

==> Click here for Email Subject Line screen capture (opens in new window)

As you'll see from the screen capture, one of the better subject lines is: "instant copywriting business for [first name]"

Why does this work?

It uses the word "instant." It uses your first name. And it's targeted. The word "copywriting" is a perfect match for my list of copywriters. Finally, there is a big promise of financial gain.

Let's look at another one:

"[first name]'s 2nd sale"

I believe this one worked so well (141 opens) because not only did it use personalization, it also looks like notification of an affiliate commission.

A lot of folks are "casual affiliates" and they get super excited about making a sale. Because this subject line looks like one of those notifications, it got a high open rate.

What about "secrets to full-time copywriting"...

This one worked because of the word "secrets." Everyone wants to know secrets. Again, there's a perfect word to market match with "copywriting." And this time, it goes a step further by saying "full-time copywriting." If you are an aspiring copywriter, and would like to have enough freelance work to keep you busy full-time, you will open this email.

Now, let's look at a flop: "the leapfrog theory"

What happened here?

I thought the subject line would arouse curiosity and get people to open it. But it didn't perform nearly as well as I expected. Only 73 opens compared to 141. That's a huge difference.

My guess is the subject line was simply too far removed from what my subscribers are interested in reading about, which is copywriting.

The content inside the email was how to "leapfrog" your competition and charge more for your services... but my readers wouldn't have gotten that from the subject line.

Ultimately, for email subject lines to work, they must use powerful trigger words (like "instant" and "secrets"), appeal strongly to your readers' primary interest, and/or look like official email correspondence (like a shipping notice or affiliate commission email).

Of course, email marketing is changing all the time. It's a tough field to stay afloat in, especially with so much legitimate double opt-in email being blocked by so-called "spam" filters. Hopefully, this brief lesson in email subject lines will help you improve your response.

UPDATE 09/21/2006

What the heck... I've decided to give you some more subject lines. Here's another screen capture with even more recent data:

==> Email Subject Lines - Screen Capture 2 (opens in new window)

Do you see the two subject lines that have worked best over the last month? One of them I sent yesterday, the other one I sent on August 24.

• this is NOT for everyone... (108 opens so far)
• [first name]'s Complimentary Advertising Report (122 opens)

Between these two subject lines were a whole string of so-so subject lines. I suspect part of the reason is due to the time of year. Late summer is slow.

I suspect another part is due to spam problems. Jason Moffatt, a friend of mine, told me all of my emails are going into his spam folder.

Nevertheless, these two subject lines pulled WAY better than the rest. Why?

The first subject line worked because of takeaway selling. Take something away from someone and he will try to get it back—even if he never had it to begin with. :-)

The second subject line worked because it promised something of value for free. Free almost always works... so long as you don't actually use the word "free" in your email. It's a spam trigger. That's why I chose the word "complimentary."

So there you have it... a few "bonus" subject lines to spark your creative juices.

Brown Palace "Stranger"

The Brown Palace was built in 1892. On Saturday night, my wife and I enjoyed a night there. It was the first time we've spent a night away from the kids since October 2004, when Stephanie was pregnant with our son Owen.

While we were there, I happened to notice a card addressed "To Our Guests." I thought the copy was exceptional—not necessarily at securing a first sale (we had already booked our room), but at encouraging repeat visits.

I reproduce the copy here for your benefit. Although I don't know who wrote it, the note is titled...

"The Stranger Within Our Gates"

Because this hotel is a human institution to serve people, and not solely a money-making organization, we hope that God will grant you peace and rest while you are under our roof.

May this room and hotel be your "second" home. May those you love be near you in thoughts and dreams. Even though we may not get to know you, we hope that you will be comfortable and happy as if you were in your own home.

May the business that brought you our way prosper. May every call you make and every message you receive add to your joy. When you leave, may your journey be safe.

We are all travelers. From "birth until death" we travel between the eternities. May these days be pleasant for you, profitable for society, helpful for those you meet, and a joy to those who know and love you best.

Now, if you were a guest at the Brown Palace, and you read this note, don't you think you'd consider coming for a second visit?